


The Lion Tamer

by Leidolette



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Scheming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:25:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6930535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leidolette/pseuds/Leidolette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colonel Kepler has got the pecking order of the Hephaestus all figured out. </p><p>And he's looking to shake it up a bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lion Tamer

Years ago, someone had told a young Warren Kepler that a lion tamer did his most dangerous tricks with the lowest-ranking member of the pride. See, if the man stuck his head inside the highest-ranking lion's mouth, well, that man just my find that his head can be severed from his body quicker than he thought. Any leader, even a lion, just can't allow that kind of challenge by a competitor to stand. 

But the loser of the pride? That lion had nothing to gain by attempting to topple the lion tamer's authority. That lion would gladly take the scraps of attention and little treats that the trainer deigned to dole out. That lion would do all sorts of tricks to get out from the bottom of the heap; show his belly, bare his throat. He would be so grateful -- as far as animals could feel such things, of course.

Now, this is all just a round about way to say that when Kepler picked up Eiffel out there in the lonely vastness of space, he didn't just see a wayward communication's officer or a piece of lost property to be returned to the Hephaestus -- he saw an opportunity.

Oh, Eiffel could be incompetent, no question. At least when it came to doing the boring parts of his job without his superior literally breathing down his neck. Kepler had to admit that the man sure could come through in the clutch though, and, over the years, Kepler had discovered that trait was worth a lot. 

But Kepler had no shortage of competent people to surround himself with. Jacobi was the perfect right hand man, and Maxwell was the kind that could sidle up along a blind spot without any warning. Between the two of them, they could get most anything done. So, Kepler had his team, and there were good, no question. 

But Colonel Kepler liked Officer Eiffel. Yes, in the whiskey way, in the way a man likes a tool, but also genuinely. Kepler liked Eiffel's jokes, his chattiness, his absurdity. In Kepler's line of work, people tended to play their hands pretty close to the vest. Not Eiffel. Emotions shone on his face. This wasn't always a good thing for Eiffel, mind you, but Kepler sure enjoyed it after years of working under Mr. Cutter, who could keep the blandest, most generically pleasant smile on his face for hours on end. 

Kepler remembered the way that Eiffel had looked that first moment the airlock had opened between the Urania and the shuttle. Beneath the layers of fatigue, emaciation, and cryo-fluid residue, there had been an expression of sheer relief. 

Gratitude. 

Hell, Kepler had already started to like Eiffel even then. There was promise there. And it could be funneled in directions that Kepler found... useful. Really, Eiffel had his talents. The former Commander Minkowski just hadn't known how to handle him. Kepler snorted -- no surprise there. But Kepler had a tactical advantage, as he usually did. 

Unsurprisingly, the trip from Earth to the _Hephaestus_ had been very long. Also unsurprisingly, it had been very boring. Even with cryosleep, there was a lot of time to kill. And a lot of time to listen to every single one of "the audio logs of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel." Mostly the logs were a litany of complaints. 'Commander Minkowski chewed me out today in front of the crew' and 'Dr. Hilbert refused to give me painkillers when filling my cavity' and 'I caught Hera muttering unflattering comments about me at 0100.' 

It didn't take long to learn that Eiffel would be the kind of lion who would be a favorite of any circus master. 

And Kepler had always been an animal lover. Volunteered at the local shelter as a teenager to get in his mandatory volunteer hours. He'd always had a dog or two while he was growing up -- would have one now, even, if this job didn't demand his every waking moment. Pigs and lions? Well, they're not so different from dogs. 

You can get loyalty out of just about any animal if you handle it right.


End file.
